MY BLACK GOTH.

Friday, November 18, 2005

12:27 PM

well, first off, im glad i DO have friends hu care. guess i cldnt really keep up wif e 'i-dun-bloody-hell-have-any-frenz-at-all-they're-juz-some-illusion' act animore. it didnt come as a surprise newae. sometimes i guess it's juz me. im getting more paranoid. but im really thankful to Jess hu wrote me tt long long e-mail. lolz. yea, i seem depressed dun i? im glad u care. when some ppl in e world dun. it's ok, trip, if ur reading tis. i wun ever kill myself, unless i really go mad. suicide is a cowardly way to end ur troubles. i dunno if this'll offend u but i sincerely hope it wun. i dun dare 2 treat anione as a really close fren now. im glad im one of ur bestest fren but....yea, u get wad i mean. duncha? u rawk, honest. tanx 4 caring. it's really appreciated ya knw? yes, mayb i said my smiles r juz a facade. it's true, but some r real, genuine smiles. i dunno if u can tell if they're real or fake. but no matter. im juz glad tt somewhere in this stupid damn farking world there's still concern, some warmth, some light in tt dark dark endless horizon where i can c nothing but a bleak future whilst e full moon above shines a light path across the deep sea to emptiness, nothingness. ok, wow, i never knew i cld b so poetic. hey trip, i knw i can juz tell u all these crap in msn but it's easier this way. newae, abt wad u said tt i can juz piss everyone off? heyy i did wan 2 do it many times but i never did. c'mon, im not saeing ur suggestion wun work but they have probs of their own. im not gonna make em more fired up wif MY probs. well, u did say u've faith in me, yea, ill solve my own problems. tanx again. once more, u rawk. *grins*

L!L!N
aka surfbabe92
aka Silver Vampiress

=e world's juz a 95% cold metal n stone prison=

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Sunday, November 13, 2005

6:29 AM

WELCOME TO MY LIFE
Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

yeah, i luv tt song. it totally shows juz wad im feeling rite now. i hate life. im sick of life. honest. sure, they say: u've only got one life. live it well. BUT WHAT'S E BLOODY USE?! u die someday. so it's either u slog away rite now. or u enjoy to ur heart's content. think about it. it makes sense.

bye,
L!L!N
aka surfbabe92
aka Silver Vampiress

+*+THIS IS ALL PURE CRAP!+*+

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

12:20 PM

Friends? Wad friends? Wad was all that shit i said about friends being important n that everybody needs a friend in their life? Well, FUCK that shit. If they were my real friends they wudn't have done it to me. Thanks to those hu asked if anything was wrong. I know you treat me like your friend, but i dun think i can trust that much again. Tahnks so much guys, but like my nick says: We're not friends, we're partners.
I'm sick. SIck of it all. Sick of life. Sick of people going "oo,so cute!", "oo, u're so chio!". Wad's their problem? I dun want to be cute, maybe i carn change the fact that to some people im pretty but i dun want to be classified as "cute". because i'm not. i'm not cute. i'm dangerous. i dun like being cute. cuteness is not a necessity. i want to be dangerous. i AM dangerous. juz dun get on the dangerous side of me. U'll regret it.
i hate rumours. wad do e ppl hu spread em get out of it? when i say i dun like someone, i dun like him. y do some people still have 2 press on? m i expected to b happy over something tt i dun even give a fuck abt? well, im not happy, tho ill act as if im happy.... wif a ton of sarcasm if u please.
i dun want 2 talk animore. but i dun wanna hurt their feelings. i want some time alone. maybe we're not toking abt wad happened, but ir eally dun feel like toking. nvm. bye.

good riddance,
L!L!N
aka surfbabe_92
aka Silver Vampiress
aka the dangerous one

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Sunday, November 06, 2005

3:15 PM

ah...listening to peng2 you3 by zhou1 hua2 jian4 now. so touching. okae larh, not touching... erm.... meaningful. nowadays, most songs r abt love, hardly any r about friendship. frenz r as important as aniting. everybody needs a fren. be u a rich man, a commoner or a beggar. everyone needs someone to belive in them n to believe in. real frenz put their trust in each other, they're there for u always, n u shld b for them too. real frenz are very rare. u may think ur best fren rite now is ur real fren for life but u never know. yes, frenz r all about the place. like this poem goes:
False frenz r like leaves,
scattered everywhere,
True frenz r like diamonds,
precious and rare.
So if u r sure ur frenz r ur real frenz, treasure them.
+*+I m thankful for the fren the fren hu for me find time on the calendar, I cherish the fren hu for me does not consult the calendar+*+

oh wells, let's tok about something else. oh yah, iw ent for Nursing Training ytd at the NHQ. lolz, bed-making was so interesting. watching the others do was more fun than doing ourselves tho. i 'made the bed' wif mummy (yee shuang). e side tt we went to was so strict lor!!! i still tink Xiang Yun n Hui En do the best one. aiya, Nursing nothing much to tok about larh.
My school mad mad de. correction, most secondary schools mad mad de. Holidays le, shld let us relax wad, they actually gave us HOLIDAY ASSIGNMENTS. i mean fine, June holidays give homework is acceptable and understandable. but DECEMBER HOLIDAYS?! hello!? wad e bloody hell were they tinking?! haiz, forget it, go on to e next topic.
then again, wad else is there to tok about lor?
forget it, byes....

lots of luv,
L!L!N
aka surfbabe_92
aka SiLvEr VaMpIrEsS
aka krappie grrl

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Saturday, November 05, 2005

8:55 AM

Wah..... so long never update le4. more than a month liao le4 lorx. Muaha, moi too lazy to update mahx. im a slacker. then again, what's e entire point of blogging? i mean, it's like ur recording down ur day's experience only wad. 4 wad tho? n oso, wad's e use of going 2 other ppl's blog? u go read their posts n look at wad their day's experience was like. FOR WAD?! no use 2 u wad, it doesnt concern u at all lor, like e way ur reading this post rite now. unless ur really that obsessed wif that person until u really cannot live w/o knowing wad's going on in their daily lives. then if u type wad ur thinking or wadeva shitty crap here, for wad? to be posted on e net. n let other ppl c all those shitty crap. n for some funny reason, they still read one. like e way u cont. reading my post. then again, hu m i to say all these? i oso go 2 other ppl's blogs n im still tapping away on e keyboard as i speak. lolz. still, a blog is sorta like a diary, something meant 2 b kept secret, so y post everything on e net 4 all to see? n wadabt blogskins? wad's e use newae? some ppl change their blogskins every like, wad? 1 month? i haven changed my blogskin since e first time i got my blog lorx! oh wells, forget it, ill tell u all e stuff u dun need 2 knw but 4 some corny reason wanna knw aniwae.
okae, so YTD, i went 2 take my first nps wif my frenz at Cathay n oso watch the best movie i've ever watched (besides The Incredibles, that is), SKY HIGH!!! omfg, i wanna rewatch it again lorx!!!! it's like so damn nice larh. n Warren Peace is sho damn shuai lor, more shuai than e lead character, that Will Stroghold guy or something lydat. n Layla is so chio plus her power's damn superb n Magaret's so cool n so cute in her guinea-pig form n that ice girl who ended up wif Peace is oso damn cool lor (luv her hair + her power). n then actually Peace n Layla more pei4 than Will n Layla lorx. Will's so not shuai larh! n he's e lead character. -.- oh, n his dad's damn hilarious oso. ahaa, he pretend 2 b very angry wif his son then when his wife (aka Will's mom) not arnd he suddenly change. aiya, i dun spoil e whole atmosphere bahx. l8r u haven watch e show then die liaoz. oh wells, gotta go. actually i dun have to, but im sick of reporting wadeva i did. so... TTFN! n one last word: WARREN PEACE IS DAMN SHUAIIII!!!!!!!XD

Huggles,
L!L!N
aka surfbabe92
aka SiLvEr VaMpIrEsS
aka nutty krappie grrl...

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;