MY BLACK GOTH.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

3:47 PM

HEY EVERYONE!! HAPPY CNY TO U!! lolz, it's getting sorta boring now... my house was like totally crammed a moment ago. n im pigging out. eggrolls! chiku chips! chocolate! soft drinks! sweets! bakkwa! man, im gonna fall sick. let's see... i've had 5 eggrolls, 1/4 bottle of chips, 5 pieces of chocolates, 2 cans of soft drinks(lime coke[yuck],sarsi) and quite a few packets of sweets. as for bakkwa... very little larh. my house so crammed with ppl i carn even get to my bakkwa. n it was calling out to me!! aww my bakkwa... -.-
n my poor darling dog Xiao Xiang kenna mobbed by everyone. everybody come, rush over to my dog, gush over him, feed him a little of wadever they were eating (n got scolded by my mum n me) n pet him. some even picked him out of his cage n cuddle him. ah bliss... for him, that is. im pretty sure he had quite a lot of bakkwa today. and eggroll. n chips. c larh, all their fault, now im sure he's not gonna eat his dinner. lolz.
as for me, i spent my time collecting ang bao, listening to e radio,washing cups, washing cups, washing cups, sms-ing and of cuz: EATING. i muz say, i got a lot of ang bao liao. if im not wrong say... 50? hahaha. tt is wad's so good about my dad having many frenz. *cheers* =)
n for some reason i dumped everything in my pillowcase. honestly, i have no idea why each yr, my hse decorations r getting lesser n lesser. n e reunion dinner has lesser n lesser food. n e abalone is not as nice as last time. n ive never seen a pipa duck for new yr since like... 2-3 yrs ago? n my neighbours (e ones hu r arnd same age as me) nvr come n play sparklers animore le. :'( n im not exactly running out eagerly to meet my fren(i cldnt find ani other word) hu lives juz downstairs to play. play wadever.
*despondent sigh* i guess everything changes. forever is never forever. damn... im getting a tummy ache from all that i ate... bad kitty... :( lolz
i didn't go aniwhere today. but thn agn, it's good to b home.
*big grin*

happy cny!,
kitty~

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Saturday, January 28, 2006

1:21 PM

www.bonsaikitten.com

EVER SEEN THIS WEBSITE? EVER WONDERED WHY THIS WORLD HAS UTTERLY SADISTIC PEOPLE WHO PROBABALY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE MEANING OF 'LIFE' IS?! THESE CRAZY PATHETIC ASSHOLES HAVE A WARPED SENSE OF ART!
directed to the people who came up with this bonsai kitten concept:
'Dedicated to preserving the long lost art of body modification in housepets.'
WHAT THE BLOODY SHIT IS THAT?! LONG LOST ART?! ART?! YOU CALL THAT ART. SURE, IT IS AN ART. IT IS AN ART OF FRIGGING INHUMANITY -- KILLING. THESE PEOPLE ARE INHUMANE. LOOK AT THOSE KITTENS. SO SWEET SO INNOCENT, SO ACTIVE. AND BY KEEPING THEM TRAPPED IN A DUMB GLASS BOX N SUPERGLUING THEIR ASS SHUT U THINK THAT'S CALLED ART. NO, WAIT. NOT ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED THIS THING. THE PEOPLE WHO BUY THESE BONSAI KITTENS ARE INHUMANE TOO! LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU CLAIM:
Once the cat is fully developed, it is removed (or the vessel broken to remove it!), producing the lovable, furry pet you've always wanted, but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of! There is virtually no limit to the eventual shape of your pet.
LOVABLE FURRY PET? THAT KITTY IS NO LONGER A PET! IT HAS BECOME A MONSTROSITY! WHICH FREAKEN ASSHOLE WANTS TO CHOOSE THE SHAPE THEIR PET WILL BECOME? I CAN BLOODY HELL BET YOU THAT THE KITTY WILL HATE YOU FOR LIFE. NO, THAT KITTY AIN'T UR PET. IT'S JUST A DECORATIVE ITEM! LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE:
Shame on those pranksters who have e-mailed us suggesting we bonsai children; remember, the art of feline bonsai is for kittens only!
AND SHAME ON YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. IF YOU HAVE E HEART TO GO AGAINST BONSAI-ING CHILDREN, WHAT ABOUT THE FELINES? WHAT ARE THEY? NON-LIVING CREATURES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTIONS? KITTENS ARE THE CHILDREN OF MOTHER CATS TOO. MAKES SENSE DOESN'T IT?! OBVIOUSLY IT DOES!
the Cube Kitty makes an ideal toy for children of all ages, from infant and up, and while still in the containment vessel can even double as playroom furniture!
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT THE CHILDREN TO DO? PLAY DICE WITH THE KITTY THAT TURNS OUT LIKE A FURRY SQUARE? OR SIT ON THE KITTY WHILE IT'S STILL IN THE VESE? OR BETTER STILL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST START A WHOLE LINE OF PRODUCTS OF FURNITURES WITH KITTENS STUFFED INSIDE THEM? THAT'S ART TO YOU ISN'T IT?

WHY WON'T SOMEBODY JUST TAKE THIS UTTERLY SADISTIC PEOPLE AND STUFF THEM INTO CONTAINERS TOO? AND FEED THEM THROUGH TUBES AND SEAL UP THEIR ANUS. MAYBE THEN WE WILL SEE HOW THEY TURN OUT LIKE. A DIAMOND? A CUBE? A CYLINDER? THEY MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT'S A NICE EASY PROCESS. BUT HAVE THEY THOUGH OF THE PAIN THE CATS FEEL? FINE SO IT MAY SOUND DUMB BUT ANIMALS HAVE FEELINGS TOO OK!
urgh wadever. it's cny eve and im not going to waste my time bothering abt freaken assholes who are bloody idiots.
and if you're wondering why im writing this, one look at my blogskin proves that i LOVE CATS. or any animal for that matter.but who am i to say all these anyway?

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Thursday, January 26, 2006

9:46 PM

Once again, I wonder why I bother wasting my time waiting for people who don’t appreciate what I’m doing. And I also wonder why I bother wasting my breath and spoiling my poor throat by yelling for them to do their homework. Why on earth did the happy, kind soul called “me” have to stay back and wait for them? I’m in the wrong actually, it’s MY fault. They were just minding their own business and I could have easily just said ‘bye’ and left but NO!! I decided to spoil their fun by thinking I was nice enough to stay with them and then we can all go home together happily. But apparently, their ‘staying back to do homework which needs to be handed up on that exact same day’ consists of screaming, yelling, laughing like crazies and singing. I wouldn’t really mind you know, if they could just finish their work and hand it in to the teachers first and then proceed on to be crazy. Then again, who am I to say so? They are my sisters, aren’t they? I’m supposed to support them wadever they do. But obviously, my decision to stay wasn’t a good one.

I’ve learnt my lesson. From now onwards, I shall NOT stay back to wait for others, I shall NOT bother yelling at people to do their homework and mind my own business and I shall NOT even notice that there happen to be people around me called ‘friends’.

The word ‘friends’ don’t really exists in my dictionary. I just use it loosely and casually because ‘classmate’ doesn’t exactly seem to roll off the tongue just as well when introductions are made. I’m sorry if some people really DO treat me as their friend. I’m also sorry if some people CLAIM to be my friend, to know how I feel, to CLAIM that they can understand me and my feelings but in actual fact, they don’t.

I’m a hypocrite. I know I am. Or maybe I’m just a really good actress. I can be real nice and sweet and gentle to a person but in actual fact, I may actually want to scream/yell at him/ her. I yelled in class today. Many many times. But that wasn’t the loudest I could go. I could go louder. Much much louder. I could have shouted till my throat burst, till my voicebox over-worked itself. Don’t ask me why I shouted. I just couldn’t stand what was going on anymore.

I can also talk to people non-stop, seemingly sympathizing with them when in actual fact, I just want them to shut their mouth up and let me continue with what I was doing. But I don’t do any of those. Now that you know my true colors, now that you know how and what I really am, don’t bother talking to me at all. Unless you want someone to ‘listen’ to you and/or ‘sympathize’ with you. And you want that someone to forget what you were saying a moment ago the minute you stop talking.

People can hate me for all I care. They can think I’m bossy and demanding for all the shit in the world. And I won’t give a damn. What was that I said before about me being a loyal friend? Oh yes, I AM a friend. Only that I’m only acting as one. I may not REALLY be one. Like jas said, some people can act nice but in actual fact, that hate certain people to the core. That’s me. Maybe many people don’t think I really am that. But I know myself. Perhaps I’m even lying to myself to give myself a reason for acting cool and distant and basically assholic for the past few days but for all I care, I conclude that I shall never really treat anyone as my real friend anymore. Sounds familiar? Yea, but it never stayed ‘cause I always caved in. but this time I won’t. I swear I won’t. And I shall swear in the correct way:
#$^*&$@%&

I’ve been hurt once too many times to trust anymore. Don’t ask how. Don’t ask why. In fact, don’t ask anything at all. I’m probably just being oversensitive again. Or I could even be acting.

Confused? You’re not the only one.

Wadever,
Kitty~
p.s: why do YOU care?
p.p.s: some people have changed so much I’m not sure whether I’m talking to the same person.

and there's us. note that i happen to be the only one who's not exactly smiling widely.

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

9:29 PM

Everybody, I don’t get it, I seriously don’t. Why is it that certain people can use our class markers and write numerous amount of crap on the board like Hangman but can’t use the class markers to write notices on the board? Apparently, the markers have run out of ink. And unless I’m very much mistaken, these markers seem to be less than a month-old and seem to be used only for playing Hangman and writing crap on the board. So if certain people need to write important (as they put it) messages on the board, why can’t they buy their own markers? Why must they borrow it from me? Reason: “Because she’s the only one who has a marker what…” oh I see, so if that is the case, and they need it more than me, why don’t they buy their own? Then I won’t be the “only one who has a marker what”. Therefore, certain people who refuse to buy their own markers even if they need it ‘urgently’ will have various choices to borrow markers from. Isn’t that so much better? At the same time, they can play Hangman using their own markers. But why, I really wonder, must they use the class markers? Is it because the markers are free and they don’t have to pay a single cent for it? Or do they think that maybe the people in our class don’t exactly need to write messages on the board and the ink will probably dry in the end? So they decided to be good samaritans and use the markers to make sure the ink doesn’t go to waste. Of course it’s the latter reason! It can’t be the first reason, no it definitely can’t! Since when have they been so selfish? No, of course never!

And I’m also sick. Sick of people going: eh, lend me your marker horx. Thanks. And going off without waiting for me to acknowledge their presence and nod. Or some people who CLAIM they ask me before taking my things and pretending that nothing happened after I searched high and low for that particular item, freaking out because I thought I had lost it. Only to realize that, “eh, li lin, ur *wadeva* with me larh.” And when I chide them for taking my things without my permission, “huh, I got tell you what. I say ‘li lin, I borrow your *wadeva* ok’ then u like got hear me what so I take lor” DID IT NEVER OCCUR TO THEM THAT I MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD WHAT THEY SAID SINCE I DIDN’T EVEN GIVE A REPLY?! CAN’T THEY AT LEAST TAP ME ON THE ARM OR SOMETHING AND REPEAT WHAT THEY SAID?! WHAT’S THE USE OF GETTING ME FREAKED OUT THINKING WHY THE HELL MY THINGS HAD TO GO MISSING WHEN I ONLY JUST BOUGHT IT NOT LONG AGO?! That is just so horribly IRRESPONSIBLE!

Speaking about horrible, which leads me to…
ST. JOHN.
Competition brings training, which brings memorizing of things which also brings stress. Let me do an analogy of my utterly horrible progress.
FIRST AID – case. Horrible. Treatment. Like sh*t. Reassurance. Like even more sh*t. CR (aka casualty report). #!?/+*%. Reply. Like crap. CPR & respiratory…uh… SEE! I CARN EVEN REMEMBER THE NAME OF IT!! Like killing the poor guy even more lydat.

FOOTDRILL – 90 degrees. Not there. Bang. Barely audible (even though my poor heel hurts like crazy). Arms. Still flying about or following my leg everytime I bang even though I lock it so tight my knuckles hurt. Salute aka ‘homad’ – *shudder* Ability to follow commands – ability? What ability? When I can actually turn to the right when I’m supposed to make a sharp turn, the phrase “ability to follow commands” doesn’t seem to exist.

NURSING – What’s my problem? How come I can chant everything out in less than a few minutes (ok a little exaggerated but hu cares?) at home in front of the mirror but once the case commences, I forget everything? As for the rest, juz 3 words: FULL OF SH*T

*wails* why the hell is life like that?! Sometimes I seriously wonder whether I’m living in reality or juz dreaming this whole thing up and one day I’ll wake up, find myself in a hospital bed, looking totally different and learn that I had been in a coma for 5 yrs. And I was pro enough to dream of a person’s entire life. One more thing: I feel like I didn’t put in enough effort as the rest of the team so I pia. But wadeva I do never seems to turn out right. I always can’t make it for training. It’s always me who’s holding up the entire team’s progress. Maybe I’m juz a failure. A mistake. A mistake that should never have been so carelessly made.

*shrugs*
kitty~

P.S: note that I didn’t swear as much as I did in my previous post. Im trying to stop myself from swearing.

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Sunday, January 22, 2006

12:45 PM

i oni juz watched the video they gave us. n i cried. i'll miss them. every single one of them. every single echo person. even irritating kfc. lolz. ill miss the stuff we did together. all the fun n torture we went thru as a platoon. my platoon, dear echo. looking at all the fotos they took, i realized juz how fun the whole thing was. ill miss ma'am zaharah's dance n sir nicholas' funny antics. haha. i'll miss sgt sandong too. a big thank you to all four of our instructors. i'll miss having lunch with my platoon at the market/burger king. all in all, ill miss basic. haha. nothing much to say le larhs.

change of subject: i juz realized how inexprienced i am with matters of the heart. n i oready have to ppl complaining to me abt it. ok larh, im not protesting against it but the ting is i really dunno wad to say to them. i mean, i have crush on ppl b4 larh but like, o forget it. LOVE IS SO COMPLICATED!!

p.p.p.s: CONGRATULATIONS TO STELLA N NINGYI(frm bravo) N QIAOWEN(from super echo) N OF CUZ SHIKE(from alpha) FOR GETTING BEST TRAINEES OF THEIR PLATOONS N OVERALL BEST TRAINEE(for shike)! proud of u guys! :))

huggs,
kitty~

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Friday, January 20, 2006

8:13 PM

when i was bathing juz now, i heard a song travel up from e hse downstairs. it was 'graduation' by vitamin c. and suddenly i tot of my class. my dear dear class. e best class ive ever been to in all my 13 going on 14 yrs. it's the only one class that i will nvr forget. i realized tt 2A was seriously the one thing that has touched me so deeply. i saw last yr's images of how we had so much fun together. our unity, our class spirit. i suddenly tot of the fact that we're all gonna split at e end of tis yr. n i cried. dumb, i knw, cuz it's still a long long time away. but ive learnt that time flies. [no shu hui, i dun mean tt ting abt flies being fun XP] i love 2A n i hope we'll nvr split n move on together. but i knw tt it'll nvr happen. sheesh im crying agn. i have no idea y im crying. i really hope tt when activities r organized, everybody wld join in. cuz we only have tis one yr left to enjoy ourselves together, to luff, to play, to cry, to scream, to clap. even tho most of us will probly go 2 e same class nxt yr but it'll not b e same. the 'feeling' is juz not there animore. ged wad i mean? to 2A peeps hu r reading tis: Rawk on, all u guys. JIA YOU!!!

luv,
kitty~
L!L!N

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of the night in June
I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And there was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

Chorus: As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change,
Come whatever
We will still be, friends forever
So if we get the big jobs
and we make the big money
When we look back now,
will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat chorus

La, la, la la; yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, we will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat chorus 3x

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

9:43 PM

dots. how come so many ppl tink they ap when they're not? y suddenly rain again? y so many ppl kp coughing? Y DOES MY ENTIRE LIFE SUCK SO MUCH?!

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;