MY BLACK GOTH.

Monday, September 25, 2006

8:42 PM

A poem from dearest bunny =) thanks so much for everything. this poem is too good to not put up on my honorable blog. and man, i should feel honored that this beautiful poem is for me, no? *grins*

you once said our love was.is. beautiful
&it will last foreverforeverforever
“Seraphina, my little Angel,
amaranthine.”
then

&so I believed you
Liar.
Lucifer you fucking liar.

cause
“she is prettier
her lips are softer,
her breasts are bigger,
her hips are curvier,
her figure is sexier.”

I am nothing but of
clipped wings. broken dreams.
while pain .bleeds. down the walls
now

your love kills like a crucifix
nailing my love onto my sorrow
&this is something you can never fix
cause our love is h o ll o w

do you know?
i’m dying.

still, you took the world with you
sotellme, what is left;
what is left…for
m e ?

je vous aime, amaranthine. (cancelled out)

arrivederci, amaranthine.
arrivederci, amaranthine.

and that was the first version. there is another version which i am TOO SELFISH TO SHARE. wahahaha, no, the truth is i dont have the document with me right now, therefore.... XPP and for heaven's sake, if you cannot appreciate this, damn you to hell, heaven and earth! yea, that's all. maybe, i will post up the story to her too. in another post.... XD

love amaranthine,
KITTY~

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Saturday, September 23, 2006

12:56 PM

I waited for hours
Under our willow tree
I stayed there for ages
Wondering why you're not with me
I won't believe all that
Shit about you being gone
The wind's howling wildly
And it's chilling me to the bone(without you here with me)

Don't do this to me
You can't leave me alone
Don't do this to me
Tll me you're still alive
Don't do this to me
Stop making me cry
Don't do this to me
Don't tell me you're gone

Needed to tell you something
When I saw you lying there
I couldn't believe me eyes
When i saw that note
You're such a fool!
How could you do that?
But i can't blame you
Cuz i'm a big fool too

Don't do this to me
You can't leave me alone
Don't do this to me
Tll me you're still alive
Don't do this to me
Stop making me cry
Don't do this to me
Don't tell me you're gone

I went there that night
To do what I should have done
Wanted to tell you
How much i loved you too
But I was too late
And now that you're dead
There's no way you can ever know
How true my was my love for you

Don't do this to me
You can't leave me alone
Don't do this to me
Tll me you're still alive
Don't do this to me
Stop making me cry
Don't do this to me
Don't tell me you're gone

(girl)
Baby I can hear you in Heaven
Stop making my heart ache
You've said what I needed to hear
So I'll make it rain
And wash your tears away
Remember this always
I'll be watching over you

(guy)
I need you, I love you
I need to hold you, kiss you
I miss you so much
I want to join you
Let s be together
FOR ETERNITY

Don't do this to me
You can't leave me alone
Don't do this to me
Tll me you're still alive
Don't do this to me
Stop making me cry
Don't do this to me
Don't tell me you're gone

But it's alright now
'cuz we'll be together again...

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Friday, September 22, 2006

7:45 PM

I'm on a super high today!!! Whee~ just got another 2 reviews for my poems on fictionpress, man i really do appreciate those nice ppl la. then again, i'm wondering if they are lying cuz i actually lie alot when i review other ppl's work. =x

had a long long chem remedial with mr ong at the library today. gosh the library is so damn cold la!! that speech i did was really true i suppose. THE LIBRARY IS COLD! haha, i think im beginning to be able to understand how to balance chemical equations and according to clarine, i cannot balance because i cant even balance myself properly. -.- so ridiculous la...

i agree that i may be slightly clumsy at times and abit unbalanced on certain occasions but i still can balance ok!! then after that long long session i went to JEC with clarine, anty, turts, fish and the brainless sotong. ooops, did i just say that? uh oh.... XD i had a medium whipped potato... tho i wasnt hungry @ all. dotz. just didnt want to sit there and watch them eat. dumb incident at the JEC la, dun wanna mention wad.

ohwells, i think there's nothing more for me to crap about anymore. oh yes, if anyone got time... go review the stuff i write, please? url link: http://www.fictionpress.com/~candlekitty
thankyouverymuch.

scars n scratches,
kitty~

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Monday, September 18, 2006

6:06 PM

I'm sick.
Sick of this life.
Sick of everything that's going on.
Sick of everything that's happening.
Save me from this place, this hell hole.
This hell hole called Earth.
This hell hole made of 95% steel and stone.
I don't wanna see/hear/feel/know anything anymore.
Nothing is making sense to me at all.
Am I even making sense?
I'm falling deeper than ever, into paradise.
Or what seems like paradise.
I want to, I need to, I will feel the blood and tears.
Mingle together on my skin.
But not now, not yet, not till i pluck up my courage to do it.
Scaredy cat. Ha.
Send someone to catch my tears.
They're blinding me, blurring my vision.
I can't start over again like this.
I can't even see anything down the road!
Crap, I can't explain what's going on.
Don't know how to.
Someone tell me, teach me, help me find a way.
A way to sleep a sleep from which I will never awaken from.
Someone's really gotta save me.
Before I die.
But maybe, just maybe.
It's better off that way.
Then I won't feel these tears anymore.
Or hear myself screaming.
In pain. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Confusion.
How did this happen?
No idea how, and ain't going to bother no more.
Yea, why bother?

Kitty going insane~

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

3:53 PM

urgh coughing like shit. and this medicine is like not helping at all. i may be able to blog now but i can't open any files on this damned computer of mine!!! and heymaths. man what is wrong with that thing?? people complete until module dunno wad already and i havent even started! reason is becasue i cannot play the vid that teaches you all the crap shit and neither can i do the worksheets! now is that hardly my fault? yes! who ask you so violent towards your computer! dumb kitty.

and my resolve to work hard this holiday to revise and do my homework ain't really working hur. im like blogging instead of doing my homework? like hello it's already wednesday lah you damned stupid cat. and you're still slacking?! gogogo! go do your homework! listen to me you silly nincompoop.

TALKING TO ONESELF, FIRST SIGN OF DEPRESSION AND AUTISM.

irritating but innocently adorable kitty, what happened to all that you said about doing your homework and revising your work so that you will not fail any subjects for this end-of-year papers? what happened to the crap you insisted that you'd do hur? bad kitty, bad bad kitty, you deserve to be spanked on the tail and yes i shall spank you come here you darned kitty.

TALKING TO ONESELF STILL, SURE SIGN OF MADNESS.

bad cat, must be bringing bad luck to yourself by being black. so obsessed with singapore idol for wad? very interesting is it? yes. oh i see... so do you plan to watch it tonight? uh huh, duh, of course. what will you do if u miss one episode then? i will cry, then i will suicide, yes i will! are you aware that you still have your history write-up, the second part of your chemistry worksheet, your english speech to prepare, heymath and FLASH left to do? oh yes i am but i am trying to forget about them so stop attempting to remind me! i mean like... er, what homework, yes?NOOO....

PRACTICALLY REPLYING TO OWN QUESTIONS, CONFIRMED MADNESS. SOMEONE CALL WOODBRIDGE.

there, i satisfied my boredom. im in a tearing paper frenzy suddenly. i have torn/shredded/mauled i think at least 5-6 pieces of paper into smaller-than-confetti pieces so far. (kitty, bao4 li4 bu4 neng2 jie3 jue2 yi2 qie4). and for hell's sake if this post does not update itself i shall seriously kill myself. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COMPUTER??! (kitty, you have nine lives, don't forget!) oh yes. but i only have like, 3 left? (so cut your wrist, that's one, slit your throat, that's two and jump off a cliff and into the sea for good measure to make sure you die THRICE!) ok, understood.

*scampers to cliff and waves a paw* tata my beloved irritating earthlings i shall go! NEVER MISS ME ALTHOUGH I MAY BE LIKE, THE MOST ADORABLEST KITTEN ON EARTH THAT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. ALAS, I MUST GO SO LIKE I SAID, DO NOT MISS ME!*tear wells up and spills down furry cheek*(stupid egoistic, thick-furred, dramatic kitty)

*turns from the view of the roaring sea crashing against the sharp jagged rocks in violent waves* OI I CAN HEAR YOU OK I AM NOT AS DRAMATIC AS HER OVERDRAMATIC YADYADA BUNNINESS. HUH!

kitty~

p.s: damn i cant urgh.... cut through this furrrrr.........too... gnnnn thick!!!
p.p.s: bye he lao shi! 2affinity will miss you!
p.p.p.s: i believe anyone reading this will be able to see that i am darned bored. or they're blind.

i could spend my life in this sweet surrender;