I should find it all rather familiar, and I should already be used to it. I should not feel that twanging pain in my chest when I look at those 2 sets of screwed up papers. I thought I studied so hard for the first test, I thought I'd maybe, just maybe, at least pass. I know I didn't do well for the retest. I mean, the only question I knew how to do was supposedly wrong. I guess I just didn't expect to fail twice, especially not when it was the first time I ever started studying for a test at least a week before it arrives. Well, maybe with the exception of PSLE when I mugged the entire year and slacked everyday during the PSLE period. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I was the person I was back then in Primary 6.
You know you can never turn back time.
4 years ago, she rushed home everyday to study, the only breaks she took were to bath, eat, watch just ONE HOUR of television, and sleep. On weekends, she used the computer for maybe an hour or two, before devoting the rest of her time to s t u d y i n g. She would do her homework without fail, and submit them right on the dot. She never slacked. Somebody please tell me, just who the hell is she?
She isn't worth remembering; she's already dead.
I really wonder if I'd do just as well now as I did in primary school if I mugged really hard. Looking at the results of my apparent 'hard work', I believe not. It appears to me that my hard work doesn't pay off, so why do I even bother trying?
Because you don't want to disappoint your parents again.
You know I honestly don't give a shit about how they feel.
& you know you don't seriously think that way.
I still cannot comprehend why I bother trying so hard.
Maybe it's because you don't want to break your promise.
What promise?
You should just die.
Y'know, this could be the first and last time I ever agree with you.
I'm going to burn the two sets of Maths testpapers with their insulting, bright, bold and red '11's. 11 over 25. I still can't get over it. It doesn't help that I screwed up my Physics test by skipping an entire question on plane waves worth almost 10 marks. I think I'm going to cry, but I'm not going to. Why're you looking at me like you want to know why?
Because crying is weak, because crying is useless, because you simply should not cry.
On a (wayyyy) lighter note, I finally bought Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Piccoult on Friday. Great starting, loved the middle, adored the twist, and loathed the ending. It didn't make much sense to me. Overall, 2.5 (for the plot) + 0.5 (for the sweet cover) + 0.5 (for the twist and the presence of a perfectionist) + 1 (for the damned good quote) = 4.5/5
Read the book, you may have a totally different opinion. Although my favorite quote is still the one from Office Politics. Stupid people who don't know me well can take a running leap and crash straight into a mattress now please.
"All men are bastards. But don't worry. I'm not that silly." - Office Politics.
I finally got my (purple&black) Converse sneakers that I'd been eyeing. And a pair of 'Ripples' slippers that I can actually wear out. [Sorry Cheryl, I know you wanted to go buy flipflops together but what the hell you already bought yours too. Haha.]
HCI, NYGH and RVHS combined mock competition on Saturday. JXYY didn't score the highest in anything, but I'm still proud of you girls okay? I'm sure you did your best, and we still have one month left to train before Zone Competition arrives. We can do it kayy! [: Work harder and KEEP YOUR EYES ON THAT GOAL.
-Jesslyn.Xinmun.Yuting.Yongen-
我的宝贝们！ Haha, at least it doesn't sound as wrong as Tan Zhi Xiang calling his trainees that. We'll have a lot of fun doing car accident cases, seeing as the bunch of you aren't any good at that. *sadonic grin* I love you too, baobeis.
There you go. A long-winded, scarily mood-swinging, highly informative, and recently updated life post of Sing Li Lin the Great.
It's 11.:38pm and I'm yawning for the millionth time in a row. Goodnight, have a nice day tomorrow. Provided you live to see daylight, of course.
Labels: Broken Promises; Broken Hearts
